Of Memes and Misogyny
Claps, laugh out loud and rolling on the floor with laughter (yes, I am too old fashioned for abbreviations) — all this is now conveyed with emojis. There is an emoji, I am told, for every emotion and feeling. A new paradigm for show and not tell may be. And, I find all these emotions displayed unfettered for memes. On an average, at any given point there are a hundred plus memes floating across tens of groups on WhatsApp. (The numbers refer to my small world, obviously!) These bring moments of cheer and laughter in an otherwise tough and uncertain environment. These also bring a reminder that despite the spunk and facade of modernity, we are in our mind, truly and deeply committed to misogyny. We applaud it, celebrate it and pass it on as comic relief — completely oblivious of the tragedy and miscarriage of respectability. Hierarchy of first, second and third gender rules as feudal lords, while big bindis and handloom sarees scream hoarse on equality and high heels, flat pumps and short skirts fight for equity.
Feathers are ruffled? Gun are out? Trolling fingers on the keypad and thumbs swiping off the screen? Good. Let’s fight and argue, or yell, if you will. Anything, but laughing at misogyny.
How many of us have laughed on memes on men sobbing over house chores? Remember all those emojis, witty one liners, funny rejoinders spicing up each forward? What a comic relief, right? Gender equality. Equity. Respectability. Do we have emojis for these? We should, right? Because these empty words are anything but a comedy. I have not seen one woman calling it out and saying stop laughing at this misogyny. Sit up and take notice of the deep rooted disparity. Accept the feudal mindset and acknowledge we are not even work in progress as far as equal rights are concerned. We cannot. We celebrate ineptitude of men folk in matters of home. We raise our boys to be feudal lords, expecting bed tea and warm beds. We look up to men who need an army to cook, clean and clothe. We are too much in awe of machismo and hands too big to wash a dainty cup.
I am going too far back in my assumption. This was maybe the truth of a generation or two back. You may say that. And, I will be happy if it was true. The lockdown has been tough. The pandemic punishing. Most households are in disarray as working parents manage home and kids, unaided. With scores of men and women working from home, the demand on time is unrelenting. Working together is only way to weather this storm. And, many are doing that. Standing shoulder to shoulder, managing both work and home. But, in most cases the men who wash dishes or iron clothes are heaped tons of empathy. Their “contribution” hailed worthy of Nobel prize. Their “help” in running the household, their household, lauded in the same vein as Vaccine Maitri!
The memes of crying husbands, poor men made to wash and clean, hassled fathers changing nappy and pacifying kids, in a way reflect of our deep rooted conviction.We are committed to a skewed view of equality. Equal pay at office and an unequal status at home. No wonder the cries for one third representation in elected bodies are never serious. We as a society and “free thinking” individuals have clear compartments in our approach — men earn, women burn. See, you are already clapping at this euphemism!
Forget about equal rights, diversity, inclusivity, equity. What’s that? Let’s share a laugh. A lighter moment. After all, isn’t misogyny a tragic comedy?
